drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
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As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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