hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
