considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
we should paint friendship bongs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize