is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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