Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
