went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
