I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize