I cannot find my penis.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
