ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
false alarm. still invincible.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
