how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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