shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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