I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
