whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
