careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i think i just lost a toe
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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