Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
