bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
