I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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