Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
