after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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