If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
