it hurts more in the daytime
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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