I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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