Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize