We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
