the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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