Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
