Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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