Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
