She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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