my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
