When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dick has a subreddit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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