Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
