Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
