I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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