so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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