I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
babies were throwing up all over the place
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
