at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize