I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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