She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
