I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
