Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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