There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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