I heard we made out
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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