This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize