I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
