in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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