I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize