if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize