so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
