Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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