Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
