I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
