girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.