Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
