oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
