i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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