I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
