Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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