can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
