I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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