My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Bring me that man meat
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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