Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
