The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
