i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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