girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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