I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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