I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
